It's not masochism, though

Last night, as I was overcome by emotions--pain, anger and sadness, I thought of what agony it was. Why did I choose this path, leaving comfort and friends and love, rather than to staying behind as so many others do? Horrible pain!

Then I thought of the two things I like about pain:

a) pain lets us know we're alive

b) pain is temporary

To someone perpetually in an existential crisis, the first offers the comfort of letting me know I am alive, not a walking useless shell wasting resources on the planet. And if I'm not useless, there is a chance that I am actually useful, and thus my life has meaning.

The second, that pain is only temporary, is a phrase I use commonly and it's what gets me cheerfully through all physical pain I've ever had. Usually, though, I forget to apply it to emotional pain, and become mired in memories of the past. But this too shall pass, I will move forward in my emotions as my body does in time, and things will eventually, inevitably, become better.

The best way to rid oneself of pain is to embrace it, really. An open wound will become dirty, infected, and fester with neglect, but if cared for, cleaned and monitored soon becomes unblemished skin. So do not run from pain. Embrace it. Love it! The fact that it hurts more than you could possibly imagine means you are intensely alive, and that if you are alive, you will be able to move on.